goodbye for the 12th time

saw a bunch of friends last night at rik reppe's santa man. i felt kinda silly hugging them all goodbye again. since i already hugged them goodbye at trivia night on tuesday. and at a little party last weekend where we stuffed ourselves with the most fabulous baked goods ever. and at various shows and bars over the last couple months. and at the end of the fringe. i guess this slow leaving is a nice excuse to hug people a lot.

there was a line in rik's show last night where he was talking about katrina victims and what they lost, "think of the most mundane possession you have ... think of the most expensive thing you own ... think of the most meaningful thing you own ...." we've just spent the last two months getting our pile of things down pretty small. so it was no stretch at all for me to conjure up these items as rik suggested i think of them.

my keyboard, where i've spent a lot of hours over the last year learning to play and discovering musical muscles in my head and musical meaning in the world, popped into my head. maybe because at that very moment it was shivering in the backseat of my car, awaiting transfer to its temporary new home with the brilliant jake. i'm so happy it's going to get used by a musician while i'm gone instead of sitting out the winter in yuri's basement. of course, it will no longer think i'm the best player in the world after its time with jake. (oh, sniff, i'm thinking of that naive little rose in the little prince).

we've been shedding our stuff in layers. starting with big stuff that yielded money and meant hardly anything to us: the house, bbq, lawn mower, the furniture, tv. more meaningful and useful, but not necessary for a while: extra clothes, shoes, dishes. more meaningful, but good to share: music, art. favorites that we were maybe too attached to for our own good: the globe, the purple couch.

two days ago we sold one of the cars, leaving us just the fat, old subaru for cruising central american highways. and today there is a big empty spot in our temporary bedroom where my keyboard has been. tomorrow, the last of the books go to the used bookstore and back to the library. on monday, the winter clothes, my laptop, our stereo, and all our little piles of paper go to yuri's basement. and on tuesday afternoon, future goes to bill's house. sniff, sniff. i wonder if future will no longer think we are the most fabulous walkers, petters, and treat-givers in the world.

this whole process forces a ranking, and we're down to what i care about most. future gets dropped off last. and alan comes with. and i'm glad i got to hug so many people goodbye a couple extra times.